What’s in a name?


I always assumed that if ever I managed to get something published it would be in my own name, but now I can’t think of anything worse. I’ve had a couple of piece flash fiction published in ‘my’ name but I don’t expect anyone I know to ever read them.

In a perfect world, my books would be filling up the shelves at Waterstones and on Amazon, my name would be in big striking letters all over the front cover… but in this sad reality, I don’t want my friends or family to know what I’ve written.

I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of what I have written or what I want to write but I also don’t want to be judged by people, that I believe don’t understand what really makes me tick. My stories are personal and I feel vulnerable committing them to paper but I want people to read and enjoy them. I want judgement/criticism from readers not people that know a small side of me.

My family have never took any interest in my hopes/dreams/goals and have always trivialize those things that are important to me. My friends take much more interested but I still wouldn’t want them to know either. If they knew, I’d feel restricted and feel like I had to write a certain way or censor my thoughts.Is it normal to feel this way?

When my book is complete I’ll most probably use a pseudonym but I’m interested in other’s opinions, feel free to vote.

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Second draft – It’s all up hill from here…


Shouldn’t that be downhill? I had this strange notion that once I’d written the first draft of my novel everything magically fall into place and just flow. I have no flow! Every time I open my document I’m overwhelmed by how bad things are looking and get stressed that it’s just not good enough. I’m going through my ‘novel’ chapter by chapter, slowly improving what I originally thought was good and made prefect sense but doesn’t, I’m surprised at how quickly my draft it’s starting to flesh out without much effort, I imagine the backspace button on my keyboard will be worn away long before the final draft.

The problem I’m having is complicated, I have an idea in my head, I have a scene, dialogue etc but when i come to work on my novel it all seems to dissolve. The pages just don’t seem to be flowing with ease like they do in ‘real’ books. I read something and wonder why I’m not writing dialogue in the same way. I have dialogue that I’m semi happy with(at this stage)but struggle to find convincing ‘action’/thoughts to lead/follow the speech. It all seems very wooden. How do you naturally do this? How do I make the scenes come to life so you can really visualise them? I’m having scary visions of having to go through the whole draft and then add all this later since I don’t seem capable to write it convincingly at the time.

I can’t seem to get past this, all I can think of to do is plow on or I’ll never get anywhere but at the same time i feel like I’m going through chapters ‘improving’ them except not really finishing each one since I’m not convinced the dialogue is good enough.

Any pointers will be greatly appreciated.

The never ending road to writing a book…


I was on a roll typing up the first draft of my first attempt at a novel. Though, every time I loaded up my document a heavy weight formed on my shoulders. I read parts of it and realised it was no best seller but looked past this and ploughed on knowing that if I don’t do the work I will never have anything to improve.

I’ve been waiting a week (it may turn into two) as I’ve read it’s best to edit your work with fresh eyes, to edit as a reader not the writer. I’ve got some books together that are on all aspects of writing and I’m planning on studying them so that I’m completely prepared to improve my work and not just spend hours changing it.

It’s so overwhelming trying to create something that others will want to read, something that would be as good as the books I read. I want it to be one of those you’re not able to put down, one that stays in your hand as you eat, cook and clean.

It’s going to be a much bigger job to get my book anywhere near that stage and I’m starting to appreciate the effort authors put into their books. Now every time I read something I like, I think of the author slaving away for hours putting everything they have into it.   

I’d like to say thank you to all of those people out there dedicating their time to creating something for others.